What hurt the most was your hesitation to even give us a chance. You were so paralyzed with indecisiveness that you were willing to let go of a woman and close friend who cared for you more than you will ever realize and would’ve treated you better than you deserved. However, I wasn’t going to fight for us or wait for you to make up your mind any longer. I didn’t want to persuade you to give us a chance. I wanted you to want to be with me. I needed to get this heartbreak over with so I could begin to move on with my life.
I want a man who wants to be with me. Not a boy, but a man who realizes my worth and a man that doesn’t shy away from a strong, independent woman who knows what she wants from life. I want a man who isn’t afraid to tell his friends and family about the woman who’s entered his life. I want a man who isn’t afraid to take a risk on love with me. I want someone who doesn’t look back at life wondering “what if.” Life is too short and too precious to let those chances at timeless memories pass you by.
Yes, as you and I discussed, love is risky and being vulnerable exposes oneself to the possibility of heartbreak and pain. However, to have loved and lost is better than to not have loved at all.
You’ll look back at this and realize you made a big mistake. You let go of a woman and close friend who would’ve done anything for you. I would’ve been worth the risk.
As I begin to painfully move on, I don’t look back at what happened with us with any regret. I know you were in my life for a reason and I am so grateful for some amazing memories. I hope one day I fully grasp that reason and understand why I could only have you for a little while when I wanted so much more. I will learn from this and this heartbreak will shape me into a different person. While I will be a different person, it’s for the better and will help guide me to the place I really want to be in the future. One day, I will be happier than I ever was with you.