Who even told us we can change our partner?
Who even sold the lies “if he/she loves me, then he/she will change to make me happy” to us?
For the sake of everything sane, there is nothing like that in relationship/marriage.
There is nothing like a beautiful/better/perfect relationship or marriage.
The question is “what do you really want?”. Then become it. SIMPLE.
All these trash about ” Don’t she know am the man here, so she should do exactly as I said” and “he should be the one trying so hard to make me happy and make this works……” Seriously it has gotten to my last nerves.. Relationship/marriage is 100/100 deal nothing less.
Why flaunt something fake if you knew you can’t sustain it?
See 80% of every domestic violence or divorce cases already happened before the couple even said I do especially the divorce case. They didn’t just come up with the idea that moment you heard them say it.
OK let’s look at it logically..
When they both started, it was lust at first not love(I stand to be corrected)
The question here is “what is love?” (Gist for another day)
……………with time he will change, I know he loves me even though sometimes he gets so vexed and expresses of by beating me or doing one ill thing to me but what matters is that he apologizes when he is calm…….
Don’t you see that you are in for a big mess??
…………….his problem is that he is easily carried away whenever he sees a particular spec of ladies but the truth is he loves me and I know with time he will come to accept me the way I am and also he will change for sure……….
My dear, you cannot change a man who is not willing to change. Change is a deliberate act. The only thing you need to do for your partner is show him/her the reasons and benefits why he/she needs to change not because you want them to change but because it will be in their own interest to change.
Let me ask, who told you you can give what you don’t have? Why want your partner to change when you haven’t started the process of changing yourself. Nobody is perfect but remember you have to be who you want your partner to become..
Always allow rooms for corrections, self development even as single before you carry your baggages into someone else’s life. No relationship/marriage is perfect but you can make your own bed the exact way you want it….
Don’t always be quick to apportion blames, constantly ask yourself, “what will one do to me or how will one treat me to make me happy?”. Then start doing it and with time you will extend it to your partner, he/she will learn and change…..
BE WHO YOU WANT YOUR PARTNER TO BE……….to be continued